3 Simple Tips to Increase Self Confidence

If you told me I would be writing a blog post about how to increase self confidence four years ago, I would have laughed. I was a painfully shy and quiet person growing up. Since starting my clothing business, I have come a long way. And now I would love to help others with some tips to increase self confidence!

There are many reasons you might want to increase self confidence. For example, you could find more success in business and relationships if you're more confident. There are also anxieties stemming from low self confidence. 

Tip #1: Mindset

You must first get your mindset right. To increase self confidence, in other words, is to love yourself more. You should realize there is nothing wrong with loving yourself and putting yourself first. A lot of people think they should not be selfish. But you cannot pour from an empty cup! The more you love yourself, make yourself a priority, the more love you can give others. How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. Be a positive person and you will be amazed at the positivity that you will attract.

Humility is a common emphasis with Asian culture, but I see it quite a bit in America as well. I grew up rejecting any compliments thrown my way because you're not supposed to be arrogant. When someone tells me "wow you're so smart", I excuse it by saying "no, this course is easy" etc. This is actually quite damaging to your self confidence. You should just say thank you and learn to accept a compliment. Don't downplay them just because you want to appear humble. 

Afford yourself the same grace you so easily give others. Often, we criticize ourselves very harshly. You need to stop this habit immediately. Love and accept yourself. Don't be hard on yourself, but celebrate your good parts. Which brings us to....

Tip #2: Pride in yourself

What are your points of pride? We can build self confidence on these. Maybe you work harder than anyone else. Or you are creative and playful. Take pride in those things and build your personality up around them. Developing your personality makes you more interesting and lovable, and increases self esteem.

Use these points of pride to describe yourself in your head and to others. Create a few values for yourself to take pride in. You want these to be things you actively chose. "I'm proud I live in America" is not a good point of pride, while "I'm proud to be a freedom lover" is. "I'm proud to be a woman" is not a good point of pride, while "I'm proud to be caring, kind and feminine" is. Some other good examples are: "I'm proud to be creative." "I'm proud to work super hard." "I have a great sense of style." Having these mantras and words for me really helped!

If you struggle to find things you are proud of, work on creating points of pride. Celebrate every step, no matter how small. Your self confidence will be built up bit by bit.

Tip #3: Points of pain

We all have points of pain. Something that you just don't like very much about yourself. That's totally normal. For me, one of these things was my face. I saw other glamourous boutique owners while I was terrible at makeup and hair. Address these things and strive to improve them. Find something that works for you. Learning to apply magnetic lashes did wonders for my self confidence regarding my face. Another example is I didn't like how I was sedentary and I started exercising. After merely a year of yoga practice, it has evolved to a point of pride for me.

Feeling points of pain is very common. Only when you act to address your points of pain, will the weight on your self confidence lessen. Don't lose hope! Refer back to #1. It holds true no matter how much pain you are carrying. You are deserving of self love. You should be #1 priority on your list. It actually feels so good to improve something you don't like. It could take a long while and lots of work, but YOU are worth the time and effort.

I hope this simple guide helped. I think everyone needs more self love. Write to me at lavenderlatteboutique@gmail.com if you want to chat about this topic! I would love to hear from you even if it's only one or two lines.